


You’re watching Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

by Linadoon



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), The SpongeBob Musical - Various/Anthony & Coulton/Jarrow
Genre: Anal Sex, Friends With Benefits, Human AU, Humanized, Humor, M/M, No crack, Oral Sex, Platonic Sex, Sex, and I love it, humanization, i gave up half way through, this is very stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:02:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27114397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linadoon/pseuds/Linadoon
Summary: “Can’t we continue?” He whined again, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s broad shoulders and pouting at him.Patrick stared at those blue eyes, blushing slightly. It was hard to say no to SpongeBob when he flashed him those big ol’ eyes of his. The star sighed, and then thought of something.“Ah, I know what we can do!” He said.“Yes?” SpongeBob raised his head, interested and excited.“We can do it, while watching it!” Patrick pointed from the sponge to the tv.-Patrick and SpongeBob wanna watch their favorite TV show, but also want to do something else...-Patrick x SpongeBob - "Human" AU
Relationships: SpongeBob SquarePants/Patrick Star
Kudos: 26





	You’re watching Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. Just wanted to do a little PatBob thing.  
> This fanfic is made based on my Human AU, which is based heavily on the Musical, but in which, despite looking like humans, the characters are still acquatic creatures and have some features from their original form, as you'll see when you read.  
> -  
> FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS Patrick x SpongeBob  
> -  
> No CRACK! If you're here to be an ass, go away.

Whatever program that was currently playing on the tv was being easily ignored by the two friends in the living room made of sand, since both were much more preoccupied with each other’s mouths. As they had been for quite a while already…

“Mmm…” SpongeBob was clinging to Patrick’s large shoulders, straddling him on the seat. He moaned softly, deep in his throat, as his friend answered the hungry kiss, letting out a moan of his own.

Both had no idea for how long they had been making out, but by that time, the star’s tie-dye shirt was on the ground, joined by the sponge’s red tie and shoes.

When oxygen became an issue, Patrick pulled away for a moment, looking over to the tv and something caught his eye.

“SpongeBob, it’s almost time for the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy show!” He complained, pushing his friend back slightly. “This’ll have to wait...”

“But Paaatriiick…” SpongeBob whined against Patrick’s pinkish skin.

In all honesty, SpongeBob was just as interested on watching the show as his friend was – of course he was, it was Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! But after spending almost a full hour making out, the fire inside him would be hard to extinguish easily.

“Can’t we continue?” He whined again, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s broad shoulders and pouting at him.

Patrick stared at those blue eyes, blushing slightly. It was hard to say no to SpongeBob when he flashed him those big ol’ eyes of his. The star sighed, and then thought of something.

“Ah, I know what we can do!” He said.

“Yes?” SpongeBob raised his head, interested and excited.

“We can do _it_ , while watching _it_!” Patrick pointed from the sponge to the tv.

“Do it while watching it…?” Bob looked back and forth, processing. His mind was slightly hazy, maybe because of excitement, maybe lack of oxygen from their make-out section.

“Yeah, I take care of the TV and you take care of the rest.” The sea-star smiled, slightly tapping SpongeBob’s ass with his free hand.

“Oh, Patrick!” The sponge giggled softly. “You always have the best ideas!”

“I know.” Patrick smiled.

SpongeBob pressed one more kiss to Patrick’s neck before slipping in between his legs. He pulled Patrick’s shorts down, together with his underwear, revealing that the star was already half hard – not that he hadn’t felt it before.

SpongeBob stroked it from the base to the tip, Patrick’s dick wasn’t big, but it was thick, almost too much for SpongeBob’s thin fingers to wrap around. He felt his body get warmer with need and desire, making him tingle. While still stroking Patrick, Bob stuck his fingers inside his mouth, coating them in a ~~maybe exaggerated~~ amount of saliva. Feeling satisfied with it – and also a bit impatient – he pushed his fingers pass his tight opening, shivering slightly and letting out a soft groan.

He pressed his lips against Patrick’s dick, kissing it, licking the pre cum that started forming on the tip, before wrapping his lips around it. SpongeBob sucked softly on the head, humming, knowing that it would get a reaction out of his friend. Patrick let out a low moan, but his attention was still focused on the tv.

SpongeBob expected that. He pushed Patrick’s cock deeper down his throat – he was always happy with the fact that he had no gag reflex – and started to suck. The star reacted, moving his hips in a lazy thrusting motion. SpongeBob felt a shiver run down his back as Patrick’s dick poked the back of his throat, and it only made him suck harder; in the meantime, his fingers worked on his opening, stretching himself with one, then two, then three fingers.

“And now! Get ready for a totally new episode of The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!” The voice of the announcer on the tv pulled the sponge out of his concentration.

“Hah… Ah, SpongeBob, the show is starting!” Patrick said, bouncing his legs up and down excitedly.

SpongeBob pulled away with a soft “pop”, licking his lips as Patrick’s taste still lingered on his tongue. He got up, kicking off his underwear and climbing on Patrick’s lap.

“Come on, come on…!” The Star repeated.

“Hold on…” SpongeBob chuckled at his friend’s impatience, while lining himself with Patrick’s hard on. He lowered his hips, it wasn’t difficult to adjust to Patrick’s girth, after all, Bob was a sponge, but he liked the feeling of his friend slowly pressing against him, till it was all the way inside.

The sponge felt fingers falling on his waist and smiled, rolling his hips ever so slightly, what helped push Patrick deeper. He let out a soft moan, shaking with the feeling of being stretched by his best friend. The big fingers pressed harder on his waist and pulled him down.

“Ah!” SpongeBob let out a loud moan, feeling Patrick’s dick pushing almost all the way inside, pressing against all the right spots.

“Shh… It’s starting…!” Patrick said on his ear, raising the volume of the tv.

“Mmn…!” SpongeBob bit his lip, in order to try and hold back another loud moan as he moved his hips. He felt his legs shaking by the sudden movement; If he moved just right… “Hah…”

“In the last episode, our heroes once again faced Man Ray!” The narrator said. “Who had returned to…"

SpongeBob tried paying attention to what was happening on the show, he normally didn’t have a problem focusing on two things at the same time, but this time it was being difficult. He tried to find a rhythm to move his hips, one that could work on auto-pilot, but to no avail. It never worked with Patrick…

“Ahm…” SpongeBob couldn’t hold back a low moan, leaning against Patrick’s large and warm form, laying his head over the other’s shoulder.

“SpongeBob…” Patrick groaned and SpongeBob opened his eyes, even though all he could see was the flat bottom of the star’s rock. “You can’t… Watch like that…” The sponge smiled and closed his eyes again, noticing how the other was talking in shorter sentences. He could feel the fingers on his waist still holding tightly, while Patrick’s moved underneath him.

“S-sorry… A-ah!” SpongeBob muttered, but his voice turned into a moan when Patrick moved together with him, pressing against that spot once again, brushing it slightly, frustratingly slightly. “T-this – ah – is more c-comfortable… Hmm…!”

“I’ll tell you what’s going on…” Patrick huffed.

“P-please…” The sponge panted.

As he continued, slowly quickening his pace, moving his hips back and forth, feeling Patrick’s dick going pushing against that spot again and again, SpongeBob listened as his friend told of what was going on in the episode. Apparently, someone’s dentures had disappeared or something like that… He wasn’t actually hearing it.

SpongeBob moaned, feeling as Patrick thrusted back against him, arms wrapped around him as if to keep him from moving too much, so that the sponge didn’t get between him and the TV screen.

The sponge squirmed in place, his hands resting on his friend’s strong tights, as he tried finding a new rhythm against Patrick’s tight hold. He liked it really, when Patrick held him like that, his thick arms were so warm and strong, it always felt so good.

Patrick’s voice pushed away the fog of pleasure surrounding SponeBob’s brain as it grew once again.

“Oh, no…!”

“W-what?” SpongeBob blinked.

“The invisible boatmobile disappeared…!”

“O-oh man…” Was all the sponge manage to say, before he lost grip on what was happening again.

They continued like that, with Patrick telling SpongeBob about how the two heroes believed it was Ray Man who had stolen the Boatmobile, and how they went about getting it back, not before their post-lunch nap, of course.

While SpongeBob continued rocking up and down on the star’s lap, not noticing how Patrick had stopped telling him what was being shown on TV. He could barely hear the narrator, or any of the heroes or villains, but he forced himself to focus on both things at the same time.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle boy were discussing that one of them wanted to eat something, while the other pointed out he couldn’t, because of his teeth. Patrick pushed against SpongeBob, his hard cock going even deeper, pressing against the sponge’s prostate and staying there for a bit, forcing him to hold back a loud moan. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy struggle as they cannot find a cane, Mermaid Man’s back is aching today, so how can he go after the Ray Man without a cane?! SpongeBob instinctively wiggles his hips around, knowing that it felt good for both of them, hearing Patrick moan against his ear. The dynamic duo found Ray Man but he doesn’t have the invisible Boatmobile, where could it be? SpongeBob quickened his pace, laying over Patrick’s bigger form as the Star panted against his naked shoulders. Apparently the invisible Boatmobile wasn’t stolen, they had just parked it in a different parking lot, they solved the mystery of the disappearance!

“Fuck, S-SpongeBob…!” Patrick groaned, fingers digging on SpongeBob’s sides and pulling him down, slamming their hips together.

“Ahmm…!” SpongeBob moaned, not having to care about holding back his noises anymore. And, with a loud cry, the sponge reached his climax, strings of cum falling over his legs and chest as he continued moving until the two were spent.

SpongeBob laid over Patrick’s large form, both taking the moment to catch their breaths. The only sound was the jingle on the TV while the credits for the episode rolled up.

“Well...” SpongeBob panted with a smile. “That was… A cool episode…”

“Yeah…” Patrick said against his friend’s neck, making him shiver slightly at the feeling.

“Stay tuned!” The announcer’s voice broke the small silence between the two as they caught their breath. “For a new episode as soon as we return from our commercial break!”

The show was then replaced by a commercial of some kind of shampoo.

“Cool… Two new episodes!” SpongeBob smiled breathless.

“Yeah.” Patrick nodded, tapping his friend’s tight to get the sponge’s attention back to him. “Wanna have another go then?”


End file.
